


Metaphysical Muscle Memory

by brsb4hls



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: (slightly under-negotiated), Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Awkward Boners, Bottom Crowley (Good Omens), Demonic Possession, First Time, Humor, M/M, Mentions of Drowning, Mid-Canon, Original Character(s), Rough Sex, Spanking, Temporarily major character death ( discorporation), Top Aziraphale (Good Omens), Wings, hints of gore ( very mild)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-16
Updated: 2019-09-16
Packaged: 2020-10-20 03:40:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20668703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brsb4hls/pseuds/brsb4hls
Summary: After a fight with Aziraphale, Crowley gets drunk and accidentially discorporates himself...





	Metaphysical Muscle Memory

**Author's Note:**

> *Caught the flu, so I have a lot of time for fics:) Went with humor and smut to cheer myself up
> 
> *Let me know what you think:)

*  
Of course Crowley had not meant to get discorporated. It was simply an accident.

He had been in a very exhausting and quite stressful argument with Aziraphale and the angel’s holier-than-thou attitude left Crowley feeling angry and somewhat rejected. 

Aziraphale always managed to get under his skin and it hurt Crowley.  
He would never admit it, but he also couldn’t quell his complicated emotions regarding his only and by default best friend. 

So he opted for drowning them instead and ended up drowning himself.

Crowley had been working on getting thoroughly pissed in some posh bar around Greenwich and when they finally kicked him out, he stumbled almost directly into the Thames.

That per se would not be enough to part the demon from his body but unfortunately, when he drifted around, disoriented, he got hit by the Thames Dinner Cruise Liner.

Twenty minutes later Crowley was sitting in Dagon’s office, tapping his incorporeal foot.

„I’m afraid this will take a while“  
Dagon lisped, frowning.

Crowley groaned.  
„Come on, it was an accident.  
I need that body. Uhm, for work.  
You know me, always trying my best, eh, worst, sowing discord, tempting…  
body’s perfect for that and I’ve been handling that thing since forever.“

„Should have taken better care of it then",  
Dagon retorted, sorting through some files.

„Fixing that particular vessel might take, uhm, about two weeks I think.“

Crowley gaped at Dagon in disbelief.

„That long?  
How?  
Just, dunno, get the water stuff out of the lung thingies and start it up again.“

Dagon raised their brows at that and shot Crowley an almost pitying look.

„Do you realize what you did to that body?  
Personally I think it would have been better to use it to feed the fish than to try and fix that sorry sack of flesh, but, well, orders.  
Someone seems to like you in that form“  
Dagon grumbled.

"Could probably still take some of the stuff I’ll have to scrape off and give it to my babies“  
they mused, more to themselves, while glancing lovingly at the muddy tank full of moray eels, that was placed near the south wall of the office.

Crowley shuddered metaphysically.

„Fine. Can I use another vessel than?  
I really have to work, I’m kinda in the middle of something…“  
Crowley tried.

„That is absolutely out of the question.  
I could not trust you to take proper care of it and besides, it’s not like we just have bodies lying around here.  
Well, not for rent, I mean…“

Despite being incorporeal, Crowley started to already feel claustrophobic.  
He knew he would not be able to cope with being cooped up in hell for two weeks.

He shot up and darted for the door.

„Ugh, welk, ok, I’m doing overtime then.  
Extra Hell-work, I mean. I’ll possess someone. Yeah, demonic possession, as a bonus“  
he babbled while slipping out of the office.

„But- Demon Crowley you do not have proper authorisation for possession“  
Dagon yelled after him.

„Well, Issue me something then“  
Crowley’s fading voice called back.

Dagon sighed.

*

The first willing recipient was a fifteen year old boy so engrossed in his online game, that he simply didn’t care about Crowley entering his body.

After roughly six hours of Minecraft, the demon got so bored that he took control and steered the new vessel outside for a walk.

During his 90 minute stroll Crowley’s borrowed body popped four boners. 

The first one was prompted by a dark haired woman passing by, who wore tight jeans and smiled at him friendly.

The second one by a soft drink ad which depicted lips closing around a bottle.

The third one appeared after passing a lingerie store and looking at the display in the front window.

The fourth one was prompted by a pair of round tartelettes Crowley could see through the front door of a bakery.

„Really?“  
he huffed. 

"That doesn’t even come close to resembling tits, how-?“

He broke off and got out, leaving a very confused boy with a hard on in the middle of the street.

The next person Crowley tried was a sleep deprived surgeon.  
The poor woman had been working for eighteen hours straight and didn’t put up any defenses.  
When the demon entered her, she was already on her way home and after arriving, immediatly passed out on the couch. 

Crowley just napped along for a while, until the memories of recent surgeries freaked him out too much.

The rest of the week the demon bounced around the residents of a retirement home, reactivating their memories, animating them to dance and spooking the nurses.

Around his eighth bodyless day he got bored and, much to his annoyance, realized, that he missed Aziraphale. 

Technically, they were still on fighting terms, but since the angel couldn’t reach him at the moment, Crowley figured he might as well take the first step.

He concentrated on the angelic energy and managed to materialize inside the book shop.

Aziraphale stood behind the counter, leafing through some reciepts.  
He looked tired and concerned.

Crowley felt a slight pang of guilt.  
Maybe he had overreacted.  
Aziraphale was an angel after all and couldn’t help being self rightuous every now and then.

Crowley reached out and carefully tapped Aziraphale’s mind.

The angel’s gaze shot up and his icy blue eyes started searching the shop. 

„Crowley?“  
he asked.

Crowley concentrated on projecting his image and a slightly blurry demon appeared in front of Aziraphale.

The angel gasped.

„Oh dear no, please don’t say you got discorporated. How dreadful, I am so sorry.“

Crowley shrugged metaphysically.

„Yeah, well, can’t be helped.  
Was a stupid accident.  
But hopefully I’ll get my body back in a few days.“

Aziraphale looked at him miserably.

„Did it hurt?“  
he questioned with a very soft voice.

„Nah, was too pissed, hardly noticed.  
I drowned in the bloody Thames, can you imagine?“.

Crowley tried to sound light hearted, but failed.  
He shuffled non existent feet around.

Aziraphale looked down at his loafers, avoiding the demon’s projection.

„Did you, uhm, get drunk because we fought?“

If Crowley had blood, or veins or even a face right now, he might have blushed.

„Pfffft, had nuthin to do with it, I get plastered all the time, you know me",  
he lied.

Aziraphale sighed deeply and wrung his hands.  
He forced himself to look up and try to meet the place where Crowley’s eyes would be.

„Look, Crowley, about what I said that evening…I,ah, might have gotten carried away.  
I certainly did not mean to sound quite so harsh.  
I apologize for that.  
I hope you know that you are very dear to me, even if you can be rather irksome at times.“

„Did you- did you just apologize angel?“  
Crowley asked, disbelieving.

Aziraphale huffed.  
„Well, I am perfectly capable of admitting a mistake“  
he said, fussing with the cuffs of his shirt.

„And I missed you“  
he added in a soft voice, that sent shivers through Crowley’s astral body.

„It’s quite a shame“  
the angel remarked.  
"I would very much like to take you into my arms right now to truly reconcile, you know.“

*

Crowley bust open the door to Dagon’s office. 

„I need a body, right now“  
he demanded.

Dagon squinted their eyes and made a face.

„You really have some nerve. Do you know how much paper work you caused?  
Eleven different possessions, all unauthorized.  
And appearantly you have been bouncing around them even“  
they lisped angrily, waving a bunch of receipts at Crowley.

„Ughn, yeah, sorry ‚bout that, won’t happen again.  
Look, I can make it up to hell, I got a thing, big one, very juicy temptation, just need a body“  
Crowley tried again. 

"Can’t you just, I dunno, vanish that?“  
he asked, pointing at the papers in Dagons fin.

"Shred it and feed it to the eels.  
I won’t tell if you won’t“  
he whispered conspirationaly.

Dagon’s shoulders slumped in defeat.  
Crowley was one of those demons simply too annoying to argue with.  
The best way to deal with him was to get him out of your hair.

*

Crowley exited hell in a somehow still dripping wet body, that felt slightly nauseous and suffered from a throbbing headache.  
He coughed up water and stumbled towards the nearest subway.

He wobbled into Aziraphale’s bookshop about thirty minutes later, still wet, very pale and with tangled up hair.

The angel was in the middle of some nervous dusting to calm himself, after Crowley had disappeared so abruptly at the prospect of future physical contact.

He looked at the dripping demon with mild concern and pink cheeks.

Crowley had stopped in the doorway, suddenly very selfconcious.

„Uhm, got my body back?“  
he offered with an awkward grin.

„I can see that“  
Aziraphale answered.  
„Is it alright?“

„Ughn, not quite, might have rushed matters a bit, but I’ll be fine, don’t worry.“

Aziraphale carefully approached Crowley, opening his arms just a little bit as not to spook the demon.

Crowley blinked, then threw himself against the angel, pressing into him.

„M wet, sorry“  
he mumbled into Aziraphale’s shoulder.

„You don’t say“  
the angel quipped amusedly, closing his arms around Crowley.

„That was quite reckless of you.  
You could have been gone for longer, for way longer, and what would I have done than?“  
Aziraphale whispered against Crowley’s ear.

He pressed a tentative kiss into the demon’s tangled hair.

Crowley shivered. 

„Won‘t do it again, missed you“  
he mumbled.

While being encircled by Aziraphale’s arms, Crowley started to notice how good the angel smelled, how strong his shoulders were and how pleasant it felt to be pressed up against his soft belly.

Crowley hummed and wiggled around a bit.

Aziraphale cleared his throat.

Crowley startled a bit and realized that his hard cock was pressed against the angel’s hip demandingly.

He pulled away, red faced and utterly embarrassed.

„Ngk, sorry, metaphysical muscle memory“  
he tried.

Aziraphale shot him a confused look.  
„Pardon?“

„Ugh, long story.  
Tried possession for a while, got stuck with a lot of boners, guess that’s a side effect.“

Aziraphale curled his lips.

„Oh?“ he asked.  
„So that“ he gestured at Crowley’s crotch  
„is not because of me?  
How disappointing.“

Crowley just gaped at him. 

„Ah, we can discuss that particular issue later, let’s get you fixed up a bit first. I’ll draw you a bath“  
the angel offered.

Crowley’s muddled brain tried to process the change of subjects.

„But you don’t have- do you have a tub? Or even a bathroom?“

„But of course I do, it comes with the upstairs flat.“

*

Aziraphale’s bathroom, including a rusty, beige tub, was full of books, dust and more books.

He waved and replaced them with well tempered, scented bathwater.

Crowley stood at the edge of the tub, crossing his arms in front of his chest, stepping from one cold foot to the other.

„Uhm“  
he said.

Aziraphale smiled gently.

„If you don’t mind, my dear, I would really like to thoroughly examine you.  
I absolutely do not trust hell to do a proper job on your body and I would not want you to loose it again because of sloppy repair work.“

Crowley was brimming with anxiety, excitement, insecurity and horniness.

He was too overwhelmed to actually move, so he tried for deflecting.

„No need for flimsy excuses, angel, just say you want to bent me over the tub“  
he joked with a shaky voice.

„Oh I do want to bent you over the tub, Crowley, but not without making sure you are in tip top condition.  
I want you to feel comfortable and enjoy yourself after all“  
Aziraphale stated calmly.

Crowley’s fingers snapped unconsciously, leaving him completely naked and slightly confused.

He stood in front of the tub, damp, shivering and very much erect.

Aziraphale regarded him lovingly.

„Poor thing. Let me see?“  
he asked tentatively.

Crowley swallowed and nodded.

Aziraphale reached out and started to pat Crowley down.  
He pressed a hand to the demon’s chest and Crowley felt his lungs expand and relax.  
Aziraphale stroked Crowley’s temple and his mind cleared, the headache vanishing.  
He was left with a mild burning sensation due to the angelic energy that was fixing him though, but Crowley found he enjoyed it.

The demon cracked his neck and shook himself.

"That’s so much better, thank you, angel“  
he smiled.

He figured he had to reciprocate somehow and gathered his courage.

Leaning forward, Crowley put his lips to Aziraphale’s.  
The angel groaned and grabbed Crowley’s hips, pulling him close.

Aziraphale let his hands slide further down and grabbed Crowley’s cheeks.

„Is this alright dear. Do you feel up to it yet? We could wait…“  
the angel mumbled against Crowley’s lips.

Crowley burried his hands in Aziraphale’s curls, pressing their forheads together. 

„No waiting, absolutely no waiting ever again, I feel perfect, angel“  
he panted.

Aziraphale nibbed Crowley’s lower lip and pushed his tongue against the demon’s forked one.  
He slipped the tip between Crowley’s split ones, moving it around, while kneading the demon’s cheeks.

Crowley rubbed up against him, completely shameless now, lost in the pleasurable sensations, his cock leaking onto Aziraphale’s vest.

The angel pressed a thick finger against Crowley’s hole, gently rubbing the rim.

Crowley felt a sting of lust in his groin and gasped.  
He wiggled out of Aziraphale’s embrace and turned around, leaning his arms on the tub.

Crowley pushed his arse back and shook it.

He looked back over his shoulder at Aziraphale, who stared down at him, dishevelled, red faced and transfixed.

Crowley needed to see all of him.  
He threw his head back and Aziraphale’s clothes disappeared, presenting Crowley with an excellent view. 

Aziraphale was flushed red and covered in a sheen of sweat.  
His fat, pink nipples were hard.

Crowley admired them shortly before dragging his gaze over the angel’s full belly right down between his thick, strong thighs. 

Aziraphale’s cock was short and girthy, standing up from a nest of wiry blond curls.  
While Crowley licked his lips in appreciation, Aziraphale started to protest about his clothes, but the demon interrupted him quickly.

„Don’t worry, stuff’s in your wardrobe, if you have one, that is, doesn’t matter, we’ll find it, get here“  
he panted.

Aziraphale stepped close, grabbed Crowle’s hips and pulled him back a bit for a better angel.  
He got between the demon’s widely spread legs and rubbed his cock up and down his cleft.

Crowley pushed back impatiently.

That earned him a loud swat to his left cheek. 

Crowley hissed in pleasure and looked over his shoulder with a twinkle in his yellow eyes. 

„You can hit harder than that, you know, I’m a demon, not some delicate flower.“

The next slap had Crowley howling in ecstasy.

While Aziraphale’s left hand massaged the demon’s abused arse, his right one fumbled around inside a small mirror cabinet.

Finally the angel pulled out a half empty bottle of lube, shook it a bit and poured some of the clear liquid onto his fingers.  
It smelled of artificial vanilla.

Crowley craned his neck backwards and raised his brows.

„You have lube in your bathroom?“

Aziraphale huffed.  
„Where else would I have it?  
The bathroom seems to be the appropriate place to store one‘s personal hygiene products, don’t you agree?“

The angel pressed a slippery finger between Crowley’s still red cheeks and circled his hole.  
The demon groaned and pushed back.

Aziraphale pressed the tip past the outer ring and Crowley started huffing.

The demon felt scorchingly hot inside.  
Aziraphale moaned and pushed his finger deeper, already rapidly moving it.

He quickly added a second one and then a third, while pulling Crowley’s cheeks apart with his left hand.

Fascinated Aziraphale stared at the place where his fingers disappeared into the demon’s body. 

The side of his hand stroked over curly red hair, damp with sweat and lube.  
Crowley’s rim was starting to stretch.  
Aziraphale pressed his left thumb against the demon’s taint.

Crowley groaned loudly, pushing back with desperate, strong movements of his hips.

„Angel“  
he panted,  
„I swear to someone, if you don’t fuck me properly right now, I’m going to discorporate again and I don’t want to explain that to Dagon.“

Aziraphale chuckled and gently pulled out his fingers, swatting Crowley’s thigh.

He lubed up his cock and started to push in.

Crowley leaned down on his arms further and used the angle to push his pelvis back.  
He bore down and Aziraphale slipped fully inside.

The angel stilled his movements for a moment, but Crowley began to wiggle impatiently.

Aziraphale huffed a laugh.  
He pulled almost all the way out and slammed back immediatly, forcing Crowley to cling to the tub for leverage. 

The angel started to fuck into him with short, hard shoves, while chiding him amusedly.

„You my dear“- thrust- „truly are a“ – thrust- „naughty“ – thrust- „impatient“ – thrust- „demanding“ -thrust- "little fiend.“

Crowley giggled.  
„Yeah, you knew that, come on angel, put me in my place.“

A rush of air surged through the stuffy bathroom and the it started to smell of ozone.

Crowley heard a muffled flapping sound behind him.

Aziraphale used his wings for leverage and shoved Crowley forward so hard, that he had to claw the tub so his head wouldn’t get slammed into the tiles.

Since the room wasn’t big, the angel needed to fold his wings a bit, and their soft tips brushed Crowley’s sides with every thrust.

Crowley wimpered and slowley unfolded his own wings, using them to hold himself up, when he felt his shaking legs threatening to give out.

Aziraphale halted his violent shoves and started a slow, deep grinding. 

He pressed his left hand between the demon’s shoulder blades, burrying his deft fingers into the soft down feathers, while his right hand reached between Crowley’s unstable legs.

He had hardly started to stroke Crowley’s shaft, when the demon came with a wail, shuddering and clenching.

Aziraphale felt his own orgasm being milked out if him and pressed forward one last time, groaning into Crowley’s shoulder.

Crowley was about to collapse to the floor.  
He already expected his knees to hit the hard tiles, when the room shifted and Crowley plopped down onto an ugly but soft comforter.

He folded his wings away and rolled onto his back, blinking.

Aziraphale lay next to him, red faced, huffing and sweating. 

He beamed at Crowley.

„And you have a bed, who would have guessed“ Crowley remarked with a slightly manic grin.

„Well it is quite a comfortable place to read, occasionally.  
I also use it when I pleasure myself.  
Now that I think about it, it would be far more practical to store the lube inside my nightstand instead of the bathroom“  
Aziraphale conceded.

Crowley laughed.  
„I love you“ he blurted out.

„The feeling is very mutual, my dear boy“  
Aziraphale said, leaning over to kiss Crowley’s nose.  
„I suppose we skip the bath?“

„Ugh, absolutely, I don’t wanna move“  
Crowley moaned, snuggeling up to Aziraphale’s side.

The angel put his arm around Crowley’s shoulder, carding his fingers trough the demon’s hair.

„I am glad you are corporeal again, bodies are truly marvelous things“  
Aziraphale stated.

„Mmmm, but they look really weird on the inside, I've seen some pretty creepy stuff when I was inside that doctor lady“  
Crowley mumbled, already falling asleep.

„I would love to hear about that, my dear boy, preferably over breakfast tomorrow.  
I also very much like to revisit the subject of metaphysical muscle memory“  
Aziraphale said, pulling the comforter around them.

***


End file.
